i beg your pardon i am not obsessed with an old rock star
oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug.
i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat
am i a bad person
Went to a restaurant to meet my step-dads GF’s friends family (large exhale). Thought I was going to make some new friends and instead I end up stuck in a conversation with my step-dad, who loves to make inappropriate jokes, and a pre-teen boy who thought he was the smartest and funniest person ever but actually had no clue what he was talking about.
this has been a dovekie appreciation post
Is that what they are? They’ve been around my lake lately and I’ve had no idea what they are.
the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part
deal with it
darkness without light is an abyss
light without darkness is blinding
you cannot have a coin with one side.
yo socrates it’s a fucking cookie
Yo Oreo! I’ma let you finish and all but, chocolate chip was the best cookie of all time.
The degree to which I consider my Hogwarts house an important part of my identity is probably a tad unhealthy
do you ever wonder if you make anybody truly happy and if anyone in the world ever randomly thought of you and smiled to themselves
i’m on a baby names website to name a character
one of these things is not like the other
It’s gotta be Farrah.